Sensitivity is Cool

I remember the first time someone told me I was sensitive. I scoffed, annoyed and disgusted at the suggestion. Being sensitive, to me, implied weakness, and if there’s one thing I had worked incredibly hard to do it was to prove to the world (and myself) that I was impenetrable. Ever notice how sometimes the thing we react the most defensively to is a truth we don’t want to hear? Or perhaps a truth we’re not ready to hear yet, one that we need to figure out in our own time.

How often do we hear “don’t be so sensitive” when something cuts us and we’re expected to pretend it doesn’t? Because that’s the truth, we’re all ‘sensitive’, which is scary because it’s vulnerable. Underneath the tough veneer we wear out in the world are billions of nerve endings, each designed to pick up sensory information. We are sensitive by design, we literally don’t have tough shells. We’re soft, mushy mammals with a primal limbic system and a complex neocortex. Not only do we feel emotions, we process them, think about them, even store them in our bodies.

What I’m trying to say is being sensitive is not a weak thing, it’s a human thing. It’s not a ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ thing either - senses don’t have gender prescribed qualities last time I checked. One of the roots of sensitivity is the Latin word ‘sensus’ which means ‘faculty of feeling, thought, meaning.’ I’m pretty sure those are some of the qualities that separate us from other mammals. You see what I’m getting at? Shaming sensitivity is harmful (helllooo look at our world) and honestly a bit ridiculous. I’d love to change that narrative in big ways on a large scale to not only rival toxic masculinity, but for younger Kerrie who really needed to know that being sensitive wasn’t a ‘weakness,’ but a skill that helped her navigate the fucked up world around her.

Sensitivity is a spectrum, which, shocking to a contrast driven world, is how most things operate. Black and white is so 1900’s. Understanding that sensitivity isn’t a concrete ‘you are’ or ‘you aren’t’, let’s look at those who fall on the ‘high’ end of the spectrum. We’ll call them Highly Sensitive Humans (HSH). These folx tend to sense the world in a way that can be overwhelming and are often picking up on stuff beyond what we can see/hear/taste/touch/smell. Too much stimuli for HSH = required time alone regulating. Let’s say our HSH goes to a rave - they can have a great time - the lights, music, dancing etc., but will likely be buzzing when they get home, unable to have restful sleep and spend the next 24 - 48 hours trying to get back to homeostasis.

Then we have our Average Sensors, these folx are still perceiving and feeling, taking in all of the information around them, but the way the information moves through their circuitry tends not to send them into states that require shutting out as much external stimuli as possible. When our Average Sensors go to a rave, they likely are able to go home, fall asleep relatively easily, and wake up the next day with minimal side effects (assuming they didn’t engage in activities that equate to toilet hugging). Ultimately, we’re all different, ergo, a spectrum.

As it turns out they were right, I am sensitive. What I’ve discovered in my own due time however, is that I’m a HSH. I’m not just sensitive to others’ words, even more than words, I’m sensitive to energy, and it’s not limited to the energy of people I know. Strangers in an elevator, the energy of the land I’m on or the restaurant I’m in or the seat I take. My sensitivity tells me the history of a space or the land, the safety/approachability of a person, all sorts of information is constantly pouring in, below the awareness of my thinking mind.

For me, sensitivity was the ultimate survival mechanism. Being able to sense invisible currents in a room was a 6th sense that let me know what I was walking into - it’s primal really, a highly attuned nervous system always reading the room. Yet now that I’m rewiring my nervous system to come out of survival mode and redirecting that energy into thriving, I have realized the potential of being a HSH. Knowing how to come back home to myself has transformed my once frenetic survival device into my superpower.

xx,

Kerrie

Curious to see where you land on the Sensitivity Spectrum? Wanna take a 10 question quiz?