Growth can be Boring

The process of soul growth can feel boring. There’s stuff going on under the surface, stuff that can make us feel disoriented, squirmy, something wordless, and even bored. Boring is uncomfortable. There can be an awful lot of time spent in the proverbial waiting room, and, we usually aren’t sure what it is we’re waiting for. That practice of trust and faith - that fits here.

There’s also the practice of letting go of control, because being attached to what we think the room we’re waiting to enter should be can shut down possibilities of what wants to be. It might not look the way we dreamed it would, but - it will feel just right, and wouldn’t that be something?

I’ve had jobs with prestigious titles working with recongnizable clients -it looked good. Like a smokin’ hot dress hugging in all of the right places. But it was suffocating me. Looked great, felt like being shrunken down until I wasn’t sure who I was. There’s a time and place to try on the look we think we should have or desire for reasons we might not be entirely sure of (enter systems that harm), and there’s a time and place for bucking expectations, whether they be ours, our families, or societies. Embarking on a quest for something that feels like being adorned in the warm glow of Home.

And so, we wait, wearing our boredom as a badge of our humanness, of our willingness to say f*ck expectations and trust what we can’t see or know, because once we’ve started the process of growth, we learn that discomfort is where the magic lives.

——————

There feels to be a new horror daily, and so, if you’re in a position to support, please do.

CEASEFIRE NOW - Call on Congress to demand they stop fueling violence in Gaza